NFL @ Week 6: NFC Edition

Last year, I wrote one of these every week and, boy, did it get boring fast. This year, I plan to do three: one at each (approximate) third of the season, and in much shorter form. Normally, I’d do the two conferences alphabetically (to talk about the Broncos first, naturally which, incidentally, I still just managed to do…GO BRONCOS!) but, since the single move of the trade deadline is so hilarious, I will eschew my incessant alphabetizing for one week.

NFC EAST:
It’s Joey Galloway all over again! Now, it’s been a bad week the Cowboys, no doubt (and I’m totally crying over it), but gambling away their future for another top receiver is classic Jerry Jones stupidity. Their 1st, 4th & 6th round picks next year to the Lions for Roy Williams and their 7th? Wow…. Since Pacman’s done, likely for good this time, my suggestion is to play this Williams at corner on the same side as the other Roy Williams, hopefully confusing quarterbacks about which one is the fast one. Hell, it can’t be any dumber than that trade.

As far as the rest of the conference is concerned, they’re as competitive as ever. The Redskins have picked up Shaun Alexander to replace Ladell Betts, which is a great move. Even if Alexander isn’t a starter anymore, there was no reason to expect he wouldn’t have a job until now. He’ll be fine in that role if he doesn’t have aims to take Portis’ slot. The Eagles could be anywhere in the next few weeks. They’re inconsistent but, when they look good, they look great. McNabb looks very strong again and calls for his head will stop for, at most, two weeks. Eli Manning looked like the old slack-jawed, short bus Eli I remember before the Super Bowl last year. While this is nice to see from a personal perspective, my fantasy football team cannot handle another quarterback meltdown so they’re who I’m picking to roll over their division.

NFC NORTH:
These teams may be a bunch of losers, but at least they’re competitive with each other. Adrian Peterson still looks great this year but, if you have to depend on the dumbest move an opposing quarterback can possibly make, your team has problems. In their comeback win, the fans are calling for Childress’ job during the game…hilarious. The Lions, working with Dan Orlovsky and praying for him to stay out of the back of the endzone should bode real well for the rest of the season. At least they have Dallas’ entire draft next year. I know the Matt Millen era is over, but I’m making the bold prediction that they’ll use their first pick in the draft on Oregon’s Jaison Williams. More crappy receivers to Detroit is just what they need to build their future. Did I actually see Devin Hester catch a pass for the Bears? Yessir, he’s arrived. Aaron Rodgers continues to look solid, even when hurt, for the Packers. I’m glad because it means I don’t have to hear the ridiculous talk about Brett Favre regardless of the conference I’m watching. Favre sucks.

NFC SOUTH:
You’ve got to love the reporting on Reggie Bush’s stats. He gets 20 yards rushing and 20 yards receiving and is scarcely an NFL running back. Yet, because he gets two touchdowns and 200 yards on returns against a terrible secondary, they report 240 total yards and two touchdowns, making him great. Well, he isn’t. He’s a returner only and, while that is an important role, he’s terrible behind the quarterback…terrible. Matt Ryan is looking very good for the Falcons. They’re not a playoff team, but with his continued progression and continued good play from Michael Turner and Roddy White (by whose name could moonlight as a game show announcer), they may be the team to beat in the South next year. I’m wishing for all the success in the world for Jonathan Stewart in Carolina but, if they keep playing like they did last week, I’m praying for a trade.

NFC WEST:
These are the Seahawks I remember: laughing stocks. On paper, they look better than they are, but this team is pretty well finished and Mora won’t help as new coach next year. With Charlie Frye under center, they can expect at least three more touchdowns this season. They’ve given up to the power of Arizona, whose receivers are still hugely powerful even with Boldin out. The receiver group must hang out in Sedona in the offseason to draw from the catching power of the vortex. Finally, we have the Niners and the Rams. Indeed, they are teams in the NFL and, by that very fact alone, they are in this post. Let’s see, Mike Nolan still wears a suit and the Rams have a new coach, who is perfect since he did ever so well with the ‘Aints and guiding St. Louis’ “defense” at the first part of this year.