Why I Support Barack Obama

I thought I would give the all-important Erik Loomis presidential endorsement to one Barack Obama. Here's why.

1. I am excited about the imposition of sharia law on the United States.

2. I am a socialist.

3. I want to engage in class warfare against the rich.

4. I hate white people.

5. I want to commit race suicide.

6. I hate America.

7. I hate real Americans.

8. I want black men to rape white women.

9. I want God to damn America.

10. I want a secret cabal of ex-Weatherman to run the nation.

11. I want him to lead the anti-American wing of Congress into power.

12. I am an anarchist.

13. I am a member of the PLO and I want death to Israel.

I am sure there are other reasons too. As I continue to read right-wing media, I will remember what they all are.