The Boston Red Sox As The Current Democratic Party

I'm still on John Kerry's e-mail list from 2004. I usually just delete the e-mails, but today I received one entitled "Vote for Youk." Knowing he was talking about Red Sox 1B Kevin Youkilis, who is one of 5 players on the ballot for the last AL All-Star spot, I thought I'd take a look.

Kevin Youkilis of the Red Sox is an All Star in anyone's book. He plays the game the way it's supposed to be played, he hustles, he has a great bat and a glove to match, and he brings with it the kind of intensity we respected for years in guys like Trot Nixon. Youk deserves to be in the All-Star game -- while the team has grinded it out in spite of injury after injury, he's been a rock. But now he needs to win a fan vote to make it to Anaheim next week.

The stakes are also just a little personal: in the fan voting, currently Nick Swisher of the Yankees is in first place. Swisher's having a fine year, but Youk is better in just about every category, batting average, slugging, homeruns, everything and he plays Gold Glove defense to boot. Please don't let anyone say that Swisher beat Youkilis because Sox fans have gone a little soft after '04 and '07. Let's show we're still the most ravenous fans in baseball.

I've proven beyond a reasonable doubt that the New York Yankees are the Republican Party of baseball and are, along with the Republicans, one of the 2 most evil entities in the United States. But is there any question that the Red Sox are equivalent to the modern Democratic Party. They are very rich and privileged, but just not quite as rich as the Yankees. They benefit from free market baseball more than anyone than the Yankees, but like the Democratic Party, we are supposed to believe they are the team of the little guy.

Meanwhile, as the AL ballot battle is a popularity contest between Red Sock Youkilis and Yankee Nick Swisher, the real little guys, Michael Young of Texas, Paul Konerko of Chicago, and Delmon Young of Minnesota, are forgotten about by both parties.