Steve Phillips

So I really don't care who sleeps with who in the world. I certainly don't much care about a jerkish baseball announcer. But the case of Steve Phillips really bugs me because his sheer existence in the broadcasting world has irked me for years.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, Phillips, one of ESPN's leading baseball announcers, was fired this week for sleeping with a young staffer.

OK, well, I certainly don't like people in power sleeping with people they have power over. This is why I find teacher-student romantic relationships so revolting. But what did ESPN expect? Phillips has a history of sexual harassment that stretches back over a decade. He oozes slime when on the screen.

Moreover, Phillips bugs me because the only reason he got a broadcasting job is because he was general manager of the New York Mets. Was he the GM of the Royals or Brewers or Pirates, he wouldn't be seen within 10 miles of a TV screen. This bothers me on multiple levels. First, the hiring of ex-jock sports announcers these days is predicated entirely on a perception of market share. It has little to do with quality and everything to do with their fame during playing years. This creates scenarios where absurdly unqualified people like Emmitt Smith get high profile jobs. Meanwhile, any number of brilliant but lesser known players are never considered for this position. To their credit, ESPN has one recent hire like this, Orestes Destrade, who was an extremely marginal first baseman in his day. He was probably hired to appeal to Latino audiences, but that's fine. Playing days fame has always mattered for these hires, but never so much as the present. People like Dave Campbell, Steve Jones, Harold Reynolds, and even Cris Collinsworth had marginal national fame during their playing careers. Collinsworth was excellent, but played in Cincinnati, meaning he would never get considered today.

Plus, who actually tunes into a game because they liked one of the announcers when he played 10 years ago? Does anyone really watch sports for this reason? Oh, I have to know what Keyshawn Johnson (arguably the most overrated football player of the last 20 years) has to say about the game? Meanwhile, the superb Tom Jackson, a good but not star linebacker from the Broncos teams of the 80s, gets increasingly marginalized because he wasn't a #1 overall pick and general pain in the ass for a decade.

The other problem with Phillips' lack of qualifications for the position to begin with is that he was completely incompetent as a general manager. He got fired for making such brilliant moves as trading a young Scott Kazmir to the Rays for the legendary Victor Zambrano. Phillips was a horrible GM and therefore I have no ability to respect anything he says about players.

Oddly, I consider the case of Matt Millen totally differently. Millen of course is probably the single worst general manager in the history of the NFL. He turned the Detroit Lions, already a bad franchise, into a national joke and kept his job for years because the Lions' owner thought Millen was a good Christian. Now Millen is in the booth and it's hard to hear him talk without snickering. The difference between him and Phillips though is that Millen was a great announcer before he took the GM job; had he remained in the booth, he and not Collinsworth would almost certainly have replaced John Madden on Sunday Night Football this fall. He has amazing insight and great presence. He just can't run a team. Phillips was not good in the booth or as a GM. He was just a super tanned guy from New York.

Of course, it's unlikely that ESPN will pick a decent 3rd guy to join the Jon Miller/Joe Morgan Sunday Night Baseball team. Phillips was put in there as a way to mitigate Morgan's idiocy and assholeishness in the first place. The other guy considered for the job was the loathsome Rick Sutcliffe, a sexist bastard. Meanwhile, high quality guys like Orel Hershisher or Dave Campbell will continue to receive second-rate assignments. Hershisher is at least famous and it's surprising he hasn't been bumped up; perhaps he is too good and would embarrass Morgan. Campbell was a crappy second baseman and although one of the best color men of his generation, will never get that top spot.

Worst Sports Announcers

Paul Campos mentions a few sports announcers he hates. But there are so many more.

I should say that some of my all time most despised people are mercifully gone. Steve Lyons for instance. And of course Dennis Miller. Then there was that Monday Night Football team for a couple of years that included an aging Frank Gifford, Joe Namath, and OJ Simpson. Wow, was that bad.

Anyhow, here is a short list of the most annoying sports announcers:

1. Tim McCarver. How exactly did McCarver become the default World Series color man. His constant references to Derek Jeter and inane comments about the game are annoying, but the fact that he is constantly wrong is a problem I would think someone might care about. I guess I'm wrong.

2. Tony Kornheiser. Does Kornheiser even care about the games he is calling on Monday Night Football? He clearly doesn't prepare. He constantly brings up trivial points that he finds interesting. He gets in the way of Ron Jaworski, which is a crime in itself. Last night, he had to bring up the idea that Green Bay should have kept Favre, even though Rodgers is having just as good a year. His argument was that Favre had led the Jets to a better record, as if Favre alone was responsible for the Jets improvement, or for the fact that the Packers gave up 51 points last night. Bleh.

3. Paul Maguire. In some ways, it is just too easy to pick on Maguire and his outstanding incompetence. Plus, he was demoted from the NFL Sunday night games to riding around on a moving cart in cold college stadiums on Saturdays. Nonetheless, his attempts at humor and, like McCarver, the fact that he is wrong on almost every point, make him as insufferable at ever.

4. Joe Buck. While Buck is a semi-competent play by play guy, I have three major problems with him. First, like his partner McCarver, he fellates Derek Jeter at every opportunity. Second, he is a legacy case. Actually earning his spot as a top announcer would have been nice. Third, his moralizing makes me sick. His "outrage" when Randy Moss fake-mooned the Green Bay crowd a few years ago was laughable. I love self-appointed moral guardians of our society. Joe Buck--the Bill Bennett of sports broadcasting.

5. Dan Dierdorf. Back in 1995, I was watching a Monday Night Football game when Dierdorf actually wished that he could be Jerry Rice for one day. That's some hard-hitting announcing right there. If that was a one-time thing, I could forgive it. But how you have such a lengthy career when you never provide one positive bit of information to the broadcast is beyond me.

6. Rick Sutcliffe. Sutcliffe is a disgusting human being. Enough said.

7. Joe Morgan. Like Maguire, Morgan is really easy to pick on. I used to have a soft spot for him. But in the last few years, not only has Morgan continued to provide vapid analysis that revolves around "experience" "guttiness" and other totally meaningless categories of analysis, but he has also come across as an arrogant jerk who is totally dismissive of any critique. Knowing that he is like that around ESPN headquarters too is pretty funny.

8. Billy Packer. Does Billy Packer actually enjoy watching college basketball? He shows about as much joy as a cardboard box. Why can't Bill Raftery be the #1 CBS announcer. Plus, Packer never met a bigtime program he didn't love. His contempt for mid-majors is constantly angering.


In fairness, announcers I really like include Ron Jaworski, Jack Ramsey, Bill Raftery, Steve Jones, Dave Campbell, and Dan Fouts. I really miss Keith Jackson. I also kind of like Bill Walton as a guilty pleasure, even though he is totally ridiculous. And Dick Vitale is in a category by himself. I don't like him much, but I can't really hate him either.

RIP - Herb Score

Herb Score has died at the age of 75.

While Score probably isn't really known outside of Ohio, but he was the main color commentator/analyst for the Cleveland Indians radio broadcasts across 35 seasons after being forced to retire early when he took a line drive straight to the face (only 2 years after finishing his rookie year 16-10). He was, quite simply, the best radio color commentator I've ever heard, providing equal parts remarkable, detailed analysis, great stories, and insightful comments alongside radio partner Tom Hamilton (who continues to do Indians' broadcasts). In the days when you couldn't expect to catch many Indians games on television (before the dawn of 1700 cable channels, one of which would have a game every week), Herb Score was a constant in my life as we listened to him and Hamilton work their magic on the airwaves. Score saw some truly terrible baseball in his time with the Indians, but he never lost his sense of humor or perspective on life. In an era when whiny, obnoxious, "it's not fair!" broadcasters are the norm (see: Cincinnati's radio broadcast), Score (and Hamilton) were paragons in their field, commenting on clearly terrible strike zones or bad calls, but also blaming the Indians if they weren't playing well.

My favorite example of Score's knowledge/humility combo was one night way back when (I can't remember the exact year). One of the Indians' pitchers had thrown a sinking ball that sunk so much, it bounced before it hit home plate. Hamilton was joking, asking Score what happened if a player hit it. Score told Hamilton that not only is it still in play, if a pitcher hit a homer off a pitch like that, it would stand. Hamilton, joking, asked if Score had ever seen that in all his years, and Score said he had. Incredulous, Hamilton said, "Really? Who threw the pitch?" Score suddenly grew very quiet, and bashfully said...

..."Me."

Rest in peace, Herb. Thousands of Indians fans have missed you since you retired, and your death is a true loss for generations in the Indians family.

Good Idea/Bad Idea

Good Idea: getting Joe Morgan off of ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball.

Bad Idea: replacing him with chauvinistic idiot Rick Sutcliffe.

I'm going to really explore the studio space this time and just say: WTF? You're going to replace an arrogant, uninformed, lazy, often-wrong, more-often-with-little-interesting-to-say announcer with another one who has the added bonus of being a sexist pig and occasionally broadcasting drunk? When you have way better broadcasters, like Orel Hershiser and Tony Gwynn? Both Hershiser and Gwynn are absolute revelations. I've been watching televised baseball games for about as long as I can remember, and it had been years since I'd ever heard a broadcaster say anything meaningful or teach me anything. Yet one Sunday night, Morgan was out, and Hershiser and Gwynn joined with Miller to "replace him." That night, I learned more about baseball, both generally and that particular game than I probably had learned in over 10 years. It was just amazing, and interesting, and fun! They bring back Hershiser periodically when Morgan can't make it (usually Hall of Fame weekend, which would eliminate Gwynn, too), but the idea of even just a Hershiser/Miller combo is so.......awesome!!! And yet the rumor is Morgan's replacement would be idiot-faux-redneck-sexist-uninteresting-self-absorbed RICK SUTCLIFFE?

Getting rid of Joe Morgan - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Replacing him with (and continuing to employ) Rick Sutcliffe - BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!