The Overlooked Utility of Everyday Items

Super-glue is one of those things that has so many remedies and is so readily available, it's easy to take advantage of it. Indeed, for people lacking any sense of household-repairs abilities, super-glue has become a lifesaver on numerous occasions, and it's one of those things that's so common we don't think about its origins.

That said, super-glue's inventor, Harry Coover, died today at 94. While I (and thousands of klutzes like me) may have never known his name while he lived, I express my eternal gratitude to Mr. Coover for the numerous times he's helped me repair broken items of all shapes and sizes. May he rest in piece.

That must have been a lot of vodka...

As with a not-insignificant number of people, there are times in my life where I've gotten incredibly drunk. Nonetheless, I'm fairly certain that, even at my drunkest, I think I would have noticed if I'd been shot in the head.

Things I Would Like Very Much to See

A Christopher Nolan-directed James Bond movie.

On the True Importance of Twitter

While not quite the technological revolution that many predicted it would be (yet), the Twitter event is clearly more than ephemeral - hell, even retrograde luddites like me are on it. I realize that Twitter has been an increasingly useful mechanism for relating news, ranging from reports in Iran during protests last year to people spreading the word on political stories via Twitter. That said, I'm pretty sure the best function of Twitter is posts like this:

So glad to be awake and out of my dream where I was in an arranged marriage with Frank Zappa, where my only joy was playing saxophone.

Critics have accused Twitter of being narcissistic, an overload of private information, and trivial. Perhaps it is, but when triviality can offer images as awesome as the one above, I'm all for it.

Your Childhood Rides to School Were Lame

Those are Colombians from an isolated part of the country using the fastest way available to them to get from their isolated village to the nearest town. The wires are more than 1300 feet above the river below, and those who cross the valley on them reach speeds of 40 miles per hour. The cables provide transportation for farmers taking goods to the town, as well as others, including schoolchildren:

More than 1,300ft above the roaring Rio Negro in Colombia, nine-year-old Daisy Mora prepares to throw herself over the abyss.

Attaching herself to an old and rusted pulley system she drops over the edge before plummeting at 40mph along a zip wire to the opposite bank half a mile away - a vertigo-inducing journey she has to take every day to get to school.

Suddenly, any stories that you, your parents, or any others may have had it about how hard it was to go to school "when I was your age" have been rendered completely foolish.

The Day the Music Died

The Rock Hall of Fame was a joke years ago. But this? ABBA is awful enough (words cannot express the hatred I have for them), but knowing Phil Collins will be inducted in any capacity at the same time? If there is a just god, the rock hall will spontaneously combust and fall into Lake Erie, never to be revived in any capacity.

And Iggy, to answer your question "Am I still cool? Or is that over now?", the answer is, You're getting inducted with ABBA and Phil Collins. That's over now.

(And the fact that some new scrolling message board on google had numerous people declaring ABBA the "best rock group ever" without tongue planted firmly in cheek is just one more bit of evidence that parody is dead.)

Move Over, Julia Child

You know what cookbooks have been missing for all these years? Lines like this one:

"This dish ain't just called Karate Meat because it's got an Asian kick to it. It's called Karate Meat because it will beat you up like a pigeon in prison."

If that didn't blow your mind, there's plenty more.

Oh, and that's right - Coolio has a cookbook.

Now That's Disgusting

If you want to say you like fried food, fine; but don't say it tastes "better" that way, or that it's "good for you." Oh, and putting a hot dog in a zucchini and then frying it?

Yep - this man hates food.

For What It's Worth (And It's Really Not Worth Anything)

Apparently, there was some silly (is there any other kind?) awards show last night, and some hip-hop guy caused a big fuss.

However, in the 15 seconds of decency of said show, Matt & Kim apparently won a "breakthrough video" award for their very fun(ny) and best-single-of-2009 (and top album of the year) "Lessons Learned." Man, I wish I could have seen the faces of the tourists in Times Square that day....

Among the Greatest Contradictions Ever

There is a Schlitz cycling shirt.

That's all.

Only In Texas...

...could they decide that regular bacon was too healthy, and that they had to come up with chicken-fried bacon. None of these 10 items seem healthy, but chicken-fried bacon is....wow. And I'm pleased but surprised to note that Ohio was not on the list (though Anthony's old stomping grounds of Indiana does have the "pizza cone" at its state fair).

A Support Ribbon I Can Support

While I've always been rather ambivalent about the whole "support ribbon" on cars (you're a breast cancer survivor? My deepest respect and congratulations. Support our troops? Um....is anybody against our troops? And isn't your yellow ribbon just a display of faux-patriotism wrapped up in a failure to really commit anything more substantial to our troops?).

However, if there's one support ribbon I can fully support, it's this one.

Tempus Fugit - The Soft Bulletin

Apparently, yesterday marked the 10th anniversary of the release of the Flaming Lips' otherworldly-good The Soft Bulletin. I don't know why, but that's kind of alarming to me - I guess it's always been so eternal-sounding, it doesn't seem to have a date. It's impossibly difficult to pick between this and Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots for me, but I think if someone put a gun to my head, I'd probably say The Soft Bulletin is my favorite.

Time to go give it another listen, just to revel once again in its sheer greatness.