About half the reviews I've seen of (500) Days of Summer were delighted and laudatory. Most of the others suggested that the movie was too cutesy and self-satisfied with its own happy cuteness. In response to those, I thought, Wow, sounds like the movie for me! I love cute. Finally, some reviews suggested that the movie was sexist, and while I don't love that, I love movies, and a lot of them are sexist. I survive.
Boy, was I not prepared for the hellfest that was (500) Days of Summer.
God yes. That movie stinks for precisely these reasons. One hipster cliche after another. The word "cloying" describes the whole thing. I suppose the film does a good job of shooting Los Angeles in a new way, but it's quite bad.
First of all, cute just doesn't cover it. Cloyingly cute. Smugly cute. Derivatively cute. Me shouting at my TV "STFU with your cuteness you stupid cute thing!" cute. Dude, you are not Ferris Bueller, stop trying to trick me into thinking so. Your cute checklist is so obvious! Wise-beyond-her-years preteen, adorable musical moment, cute jobs (at a greeting card company, of all things), cute drunkeness, and Zooey Cute-chanel.
Not to mention the pretentious parentheses surrounding "500", which I refuse to use.