Food Thoughts

A couple of food thoughts/rants:

1. It was great to see Ming Tsai beat Bobby Flay on Iron Chef America in Battle Duck. If my memory serves me correctly, duck is very tasty.

2. What the hell is deal with the people who watch Emeril? If he puts a damn clove of garlic in a dish, they cheer like he just scored a touchdown in the Super Bowl. And if he uses some chiles, holy shit there might be a riot going on. Are there really people in the world still afraid of a clove of garlic? Is using a lot of black pepper really a sign of bravery? I think Emeril's audience are the people I was referring to last month in my discussion of food hating in America. I think there are millions of people in America who are just beginning to realize that food can be tasty and are amazed but somewhat delighted that a chef like Emeril would dare to use such exotic and edgy ingredients like garlic and jalapenos. Emeril himself is a ham and a schmuck, but whatever. I do wonder what in the hell NBC was thinking in giving him a sitcom. I assume at least one person lost their job over that. But if a major network is actually going to pay people to come up with a show like that, I should move to Hollywood. How much worse are my ideas?

3. The Food Channel has been running these commercials by the ranch dressing lobby that try to get us to use ranch for everything. Anyone ever wanted to try ranch bread? Yum, Yum, Yum!!! I mean, do we really need to coat all of our food in a mayonnaise-based dressing? I don't mind ranch in certain situations, but ranch freaking bread? Hey, here's some other ideas for you. Ranch on pasta anyone? How about a ranch burrito? Would you care for a ranch margarita to go with that?

These kind of rants are part of my campaign to become the next Andy Rooney. Do you ever wonder why people eat aerosol cheese...