2006--I Hate You

What the fuck did I do to 2006? Why has it declared war on me and poor body. Just since May, the following has happened to me:

Kidney stones
A nasty, deep cough that lasted for a month
Diagnosed for high blood pressure (I'm a non-smoking vegetarian who has very little stress in his life--not caring about your dissertation or whether you get a job makes this possible--with very low family history of high blood pressure. WTF?)
Now, a viral infection

Next year is the Christ Year. Unless I get crucified, I had better have a banner year of health.

On the other hand, I have discovered in the last week that Lutheran food may have some value to the world. At first, my throat was so raw that I couldn't swallow. Now my mouth is trashed up with nastiness that I don't want to get into. Either way, I can't eat crunchy food or anything even remotely spicy. It makes it hard to eat. What am I left with? The shitty food I grew up with. Who knew a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese could be good? And milk? I haven't had a glass of milk in years until this week.

You may be asking, just what is Lutheran food?

I offer you 3 basic examples:
1. Hamburger helper. Anything in a box is always good.
2. Baked hamburgers. Take a hunk of meat. Bake it not only to tastelessness but to the point where its molecules are separating and it literally falls apart upon contact.
3. Cream of mushroom soup. Take a bunch of shit. Mix with a can of cream of mushroom. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes. You have something to take to Hotdish.

Anything flavorless, creamy, soft, and grey. That is Lutheran food. This is all I can eat now. So I guess it does give something to society.

Next, I will find out if the mosquito offers us anything. If Lutheran food does, so must all parasites.