Friday, December 26, 2008

Another Year, Another War on Christmas Completed

Today, I sit back and relax. For the last month, I've been working my tail off, fighting against Christmas and all it stands for. Throwing snowballs at live nativity scenes, pissing on the Bible, beating up pastors, you know, all the standard stuff.

But this year, I am taking it one step further. I am proposing that we all celebrate Tet as our winter holiday. I can combine my hatred of Christmas with my hatred of America! It's perfect. Every year, we can celebrate Tet as a way to remember how the Vietnamese kicked our ass! We can all share some rat meat and cold rice and the kids can sit on Santa's lap and learn about napalm and homeless veterans!
I'm taking it to a new level people. Will you step up to the plate with me? January 26 this year is Tet. Let's conduct some Viet Cong-esque guerilla tactics against churches and crosses around the nation.

Who's with me?

Meanwhile, in the real world, Yglesias links to this amusing Wikipedia bit on how much Puritans actually did hate Christmas.

Note: I am hoping that this post gets picked up by right-wing websites as a sign of just how loathsome the left is. It'd be pretty funny.