Absurd Texts of American History (III, a)

I have a backlog of crazy stuff. Soon this will be more intermittent. But enjoy for now!

Today I am starting a multipart series based on the etiquette guide given to the All-American Girls Baseball League, which played from 1943-1954, entitled "A Guide for All-American Girls: How To....Look Better, Feel Better, Be More Popular." Its multipart because of all the great things in it.

Today, I will give you the introduction and the discussion of beauty routines.

"When you become a player in the All-American Girls Baseball League you have reached the highest position that a girl can attain in this sport. The All-American Girls Baseball League is getting great public attention because it is pioneering a new sport for women.

You have certain responsibilities because you too, are in the limelight. Your actions and appearance both on and off the field reflect on the whole profession. It is not only your duty to do your best to hold up the standard of this profession but to do your level best to keep others in line.

The girls in our League are rapidly becoming the heroines of youngsters as well as grownups all over the world. People want to be able to respect their heroines at all times. The All-American Girls Baseball League is attempting to establish a high standard that will make you proud that you are a player in years to come.

We hand you this manual to guide you in your personal appearance. We ask you to follow the rules of behavior for your own good as well as that of the future success of girls' baseball.

In these few pages you will find many of the simple and brief suggestions which should prove useful to you during the busy baseball season. If you plan your days to establish an easy and simple routine, so that your meals are regular and well balanced, so that you have time for outside play and relaxation, so that you sleep at least eight hours each night and so that your normal functions are regular, you will be on the alert, do your job well and gain the greatest joy from living. Always remember that your mind and your body are interrelated and you cannot neglect one without causing the other to suffer. A healthy mind and a healthy body are the true attributes of the All American Girl

Your ALL AMERICAN GIRLS BASEBALL LEAGUE BEAUTY KIT
Should always contain the following:

Cleansing Cream
Lipstick
Rouge--Medium
Cream Deodorant
Mild Astringent
Face Powder for Brunette
Hand Lotion
Hair Remover

You should be the best judge of your own beauty requirements. Keep your own kit replenished with the things you need for your own toilette and your beauty culture and care. Remember the skin, the hair, the teeth, and the eyes. It is most desirable in your own interests, in your teammates and fellow players, as well as from the standpoint of the public relations of the league that each girl be at all times presentable and attractive, whether on the playing field or at leisure. Study your own beauty culture possibilities and without overdoing your beauty treatment at the risk of attaining gaudiness, practise the little measure that will reflect well on your appearance and personality as a real All American girl.

Suggested Beauty Routine
"After the Game"

Remember, the All American girl is subjected to greater exposure through her activities on the diamond, through exertion in greater body warmth and perspiration, through exposure to dirt, grime and dust and through vigorous play to scratches, cuts, abrasions, and sprains. This means extra precaution to assure all the niceties of toilette and personality. Especially "after the game," the All American girl should take time to observe the necessary beauty ritual, to protect both her health and appearance. Here are a few simple rules that should prove helpful and healthful "after the game."

1. Shower well and soap the skin.
2. Dry thoroughly to avoid chapping or chafing.
3. Apply cleansing cream to face--remove with tissue.
4. Wash face with soap and water.
5. Apply skin astringent.
6. Apply rouge moderately but carefully.
7. Apply lipstick with moderate taste.
8. Apply eye make-up if considered desirable.
9. Apply powder.
10. Check all cuts, abrasions or minor injuries.

If you suffer any skin abrasion or injury, or if you discern any aches or pains that do not appear to be normal, report them at once to your coach-chaperon or the person responsible for treatment and first aid. Don't laugh off slight aliments as trivialities because they can often develop into serious infection or troublesome conditions that can handicap your play and cause personal inconvenience. See that your injuries, however slight, receive immediate attention. Guard your health and welfare."


Why they put "after the game" in quotation marks each time they use I don't know. I can think of some fun speculation about that.

Part 2 tomorrow.