Shorter Glenn Beck: "I Love Evil"

Glenn Beck's love letter to big oil/hating on Al Gore is pretty damned laughable. Why does he have his show again?

We all want to live in a world that's clean, healthy and prosperous.

We all want to hand that world off to our children in slightly better shape than we received it. No one, even the supposedly evil oil executive, has any reason to want anything different. But, for some reason, we find ourselves searching for villains. Surely they exist, but the endless quest to create them sometimes overwhelms our better judgment, whether intentional or not.

Congress has picked "Big Oil" as their enemy of the week. These companies inexplicably put profits above people, ravaging the environment and financially assaulting the poor to put another couple of dollars on their balance sheet. That's the storyline we've all been taught.

Yes, times are tough for many. Sure, oil companies make a lot of cash. But, for that money, they get us to work, get ambulances to the hospital, keep our homes warm, and employ thousands of our friends and neighbors while financing their retirement, paying their health care, and providing energy to millions. Because of capitalism, they have the incentive to do that. I've yet to see what our government does for us with their rather large chunk of each gallon of gas we buy, and I've yet to see them offer to return it or suggest a gas-tax-windfall-tax-tax.

Thanks to my time machine, I can place Glenn Beck in the past. What would he say?

Glenn Beck, 1870: "Sure, the Ku Klux Klan goes a little far with their killing. But, for that killing, we get to fight against miscegenation, keep Uncle in his place, and ensure that America will always be a white man's country."

Glenn Beck, 1892: "Sure, the Pinkerton Agency is making a lot of money for their wanton beating of strikers at Homestead. But, for that money, they make sure that anarchist scum don't get to eat properly. They also ensure continued poverty for workers, thus forcing their daughters into prostitution. I don't want to have pay for than 50 cents for a hooker, do you? I don't see the government, with all that money they make on the tariff, ensuring cheap hookers for you and I. I have yet to see them offer to distribute that tariff money to you and me so we can pay for those more pricey 14 year old Jewesses."

Glenn Beck, 1925. "Sure, Madison Grant made a lot of money when he published The Passing of the Great Race. And maybe he goes a little far in his discussion of race suicide. But I don't see the government doing enough to keep the Jewish menace out of our nation. Thanks to Grant and others of his ilk, the Jews can stay in Europe, where they are sure to be safe for the foreseeable future."

My time machine totally rules.