Swiftian

I am proud to have been linked to in the Jon Swift post about why McCain will win the election.

Among the reasons for his sure victory:

Just as Obama Girl couldn’t manage to vote in the primary because she had to wash her hair or something, most young people won’t be able to summon up the energy to get out of bed or stop playing their video games long enough to show up and vote for Obama.

The McCain campaign has finally hit on a strategy that works: scaring the Jews. It’s a sure-fire strategy because jittery Jews are the most easily frightened people on earth. Boo! If you’re Jewish, you probably jumped just reading that last sentence. It really doesn’t take much. All you have to do is insinuate that somebody knows somebody who might possibly be anti-Semitic and Jews will stampede in the other direction.

Palin has had a strange effect on American men. It’s hard to describe the secret of her allure. According to Kathleen Parker, it's why McCain picked her in the first place: "McCain took Palin to his favorite coffee-drinking spot down by a creek and a sycamore tree," she writes. "They talked for more than an hour, and, as Napoleon whispered to Josephine, ‘Voila.’ One does not have to be a psychoanalyst to reckon that McCain was smitten." In The New Yorker Jane Mayer describes how a group of influential conservative men became putty in Palin's hands after they met her on a cruise. Rich Lowry may have articulated it best when he wrote after the debate, "I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, 'Hey, I think she just winked at me.' And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America." Ultimately, I think many men will end up voting for Palin and her running mate because men tend to think with their hearts more than their brains. When men see Palin, they can’t describe the effect she has on them; they just know their palms get sweaty and hearts start beating faster.

Hilarious.