Notorious B.I.G. Gives You Academic Advice

We all know that rappers are really speaking to privileged white people like me. Thus, Phil Ford's application of the Notorious B.I.G.'s lyrics to academic life at Inside Higher Education is a true guide to success.

For example,

Number nine shoulda been number one to me: If you ain’t gettin’ bags stay the fuck from police. Don’t snitch. Academic bloggers especially, don’t talk about the inner workings of your department, and don’t talk shit about your colleagues. This is why a lot of academic bloggers are anonymous, of course, but sooner or later you’ll make a mistake and drop an incriminating detail, and your cover will be blown.

Or,

For me, Biggie’s commandments five and seven are really two sides of the same coin: Never sell no crack where you rest at and keep your family and business completely separated. I like to keep professional and personal stuff separate. Sure, we all work at home sometimes, but when you’re off the clock, you’re off the clock. Don’t go ruining your daughter’s fourth birthday party by sneaking out to answer department e-mails. Don’t screw up a good dinner party by getting in a shouting match with the orthodox Schenkerian over the ontology of background structure. And you can be friendly with your students, sure, but don’t forget the sexual harassment lecture they gave you on orientation day.

Sounds like solid advice to me.

The best part about this post is the comments, particularly the outraged (likely older) faculty members who are shocked that an academic journal would use such vulgar language.

Take Allweather's comment:

No time for profanity
I can’t believe Inside Higher Ed would subject the unsuspecting public to this outrageous profane diatribe with no warning or disclaimer! Disgusting! The decent thing to do would have been to put a disclaimer so that the reader could be warned that what follows is “profane and has absolutely no educational value.
Shameful!

Deeply, deeply shameful. Now I'm going to get back to my motherfucking academic work and shit.