Things I Learned from The Green Berets

I watched The Green Berets the other night. It is a special kind of bad. But I learned so much about Vietnam from watching it. In fact, I don't think I've learned as much from a movie since I first watched Red Dawn. Here is a list of what I learned.

1. The Viet Cong were the greatest savages ever known to humanity.
2. The Viet Cong really loved to rape women.
3. Vietnamese and Native American languages are remarkably similar. I believe they are both in the "Nonsense" language category.
4. The Viet Cong were the greatest savages ever known to humanity.
5. No one can speak about the war unless they've been to Vietnam and seen the unspeakable savagery of the Viet Cong. This especially goes to wussy liberal reporters.
6. When wussy liberal reporters witness the unspeakable savagery of the Viet Cong, they will understand that America must defeat these subhuman animals.
7. The Viet Cong were the greatest savages ever known to humanity.
8. Vietnam is forested by pine trees. Remarkably, it seems to look much like California. I really want to visit the noted pine forests of Vietnam.
9. Your helicopter pilot walking out of your crashed plane and burning to death is not worth comment.
10. The Viet Cong were the greatest savages ever known to humanity