Mister Trend's Music Ratings System

As we all know, any music reviewer of any worth (and many worthless reviewers) has some system of evaluating music compared beyond mere words). Generally, they run the range of X out of 10, or X stars out of five, or a letter grade. Some are more innovative (an anonymous reviewer masterfully employs the “NUGE” system, named after Ted Nugent, in which, from best to worst, there’s N [buy it New], U [buy it Used], G [take it as a Gift], and E [Evil]). I’ve been debating whether or not to proceed with this for awhile, and so I figure, what the heck.

So Mister Trend is proud to introduce his new music ratings system: the square glasses.

As any music lover knows, those who are truly hip and cool wear square glasses to show how ironic and casually cool they are. These people, generally known as “hipsters” do not exist only in the U.S. At a killer dance club last week that actually plays GOOD music, Mister Trend saw many a set of square glasses, taking pride knowing that his mere presence had invoked new levels of coolness in these folks. While I myself do not wear square glasses (being Mister Trend, I’ve already anticipated the next wave of “cool”), it seems only fair to grade music based on square glasses. Thus, from now on, I will grade on a scale of 6 pairs of square glasses, with the following equivalents:

1 pair of square glasses: so bad it hurts
2 pairs of square glasses: totally lame and not worth talking about at all
3 pairs of square glasses: not to bad, and if others criticize you, you can claim to like it “ironically”
4 pairs of square glasses: pretty good
5 pairs of square glasses: outstanding cool and well done
6 pairs of square glasses: those who don’t “get it” hate music – it will still sound edgy 25 years from now

So there it is, hipsters and hipsterettes. Stay tuned for the Square Glasses system.