You Know What Product Needs a Massive Nationwide Advertising Campaign on Our College Campuses? Cotton!

The strangest exhibition ever came to the University of New Mexico yesterday: the cotton industry had a set up with all kinds of fun and games to promote cotton.

Yes, that's right. Cotton.

You know, we just don't consume enough cotton these days. Those liberals and their synthetic fibers are undermining America's textile material, cotton.

In fact, this was part of a national campaign. The cotton industry is sending their representatives to campuses across the country to promote wearing cotton. They have a front of doing good--donated jeans will be used in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts. From the press release:

"Cotton’s Dirty Laundry Tour will travel to 14 college campuses across the country, over a period of eight weeks, to heighten awareness and exposure of cotton among college students. Activities focus around what’s relevant to this demographic group – from music and sports to great fall fashions and the ease of laundry care."

OK then.

Naturally, I found the historical aspect of this most interesting. They had fun cotton-based game shows, including "Wheel of Cotton." They also had a trivia game. I walked by when they asked the following question: "Which president, when he died, was wrapped in a flag--made of cotton--and buried with a copy of the Constitution?" The answer, which when you heard the choices was obvious to any historian, was Andrew Johnson. I love how they connected the use of cotton to patriotism--you don't see us make our flag out of rayon or polyester! The Iranians would never use such a pure, American fiber for their flag!

Of course, America's long and rather complicated history with cotton was completely ignored. I wanted to go up and start asking people about slavery but I probably would have been arrested and sent to Guantanamo.

I swear I am not making any of this up.