NFL 2007 Week 5: AFC Edition

AFC EAST: While it’s certainly not surprising that New England put the hurt on Cleveland, I sure wish it had been the other way around. If there’s one thing I’m sick of hearing about over the last five years or so in football it’s the Colts/Patriots rivalry. It was cute for a little while, but I’m really sick of it. It makes me sick to say it, but I’m actually rooting for the Cowboys to beat the Patriots next week. I don’t know that it’s going to happen but, even if it has to be Dallas, it would be nice to hear about another team for a change. In the ongoing suckfest of the rest of the division, none of the teams could manage a win. 2-13 combined for the Bills, the Jets, and the Dolphins. Buffalo’s defense, to their credit, tried really hard to win. If Stanford hero Trent Edwards and their terrible offense could have made anything at all happen off of Tony Romo’s six turnovers, there would have been no drama. But no, Buffalo laughs in the face of respectability. Will Cleo Lemon turn anything around in Miami? He can’t do worse and, hopefully, won’t be stupid enough to cut-block a 320lb defensive tackle. How much brain damage has already occurred in Trent Green to make him think tackling Travis Johnson with his face was a good idea? He’ll have a lot of time for the memory to sink away into dementia before his return next season. The Jets haven’t beaten the Giants in fourteen years. One would think that they’d win some year, but not this week. Depending on which Eagles team shows up this week, they might win, but it’s looking pretty shaky for Pennington & Co.

AFC North: Pittsburgh rolled over Seattle in one of the Seahawks worst showings in a long time. The Steelers’ defense shut them down on every level, allowing a mere 25 rushing yards to Shaun Alexander. It wasn’t like Pittsburgh’s offense had the greatest game and even tried to give it away in the special teams, but Seattle just wouldn’t take the gift. It’s amazing that the Ravens have three wins after the games they’ve played, but they are getting lucky that their opponents’ performances are just that much worse. They skimmed by San Francisco, scoring on three big field goals, but it’s hard to lose when the ‘Niners can only manage six first downs. Just like the old days, the defense won the game for them, but the squad simply won’t be good enough to carry the offense all season. It still makes me laugh that the Browns aren’t actually in last place, though they can count on being there by the end of the season. Derek Anderson vs. Tom Brady isn’t the king of matchups, and the loss here is no surprise at all. Anderson is helped so much by the breakout performances of Braylon Edwards these past few weeks. If he actually lives up to his potential, and Cleveland can find a quarterback that’s not a complete loser, the combo of Edwards and Winslow could be scary in the next few years. I think the Bengals are competing with the Broncos for stupidest breakdown of the year. The two teams are playing the same season. Cincinnati’s pass game is working pretty well, and will get even better in a few weeks, but the defense is really bad. They have the good fortune to come back from the bye week to play the lowly Chiefs, so they might be able to turn it around, but it could also be L.J.’s long awaited breakout this season, in which case they’ll be crushed.

AFC South: The South continues to shock with all three teams putting together consistent seasons. I’m a little surprised the Colts are still undefeated. They’re a good team for sure, but I don’t see the same team on the field this year as last. They don’t seem as sharp and, while their defense is clearly better now than before, their offense is less experienced and softer. They’re doing what they need to do, though, and ran away with the win against a very good Bucs defense. After this week’s bye, they get Denver. I’d love to think the Broncos are good enough to take them out, but this is delusional. They’ll be 6-0. Tennessee and Jacksonville both come off their bye weeks with tough games at Tampa and Houston, respectively. Jax will lose, but I’m not sure about the Titans yet. Tampa’s defense is really good, but they’ve done a good job of slicing up defenses so far and they might continue here. I’m still really happy for Houston. They may, technically, be last in the division but, at their best, they look second only to the Colts in the division. They’ll roll over the Jaguars to continue the best start to a season in their short history.

AFC West: The Raiders are first?! The Raiders?!! This is ridiculous. Granted, they were on bye last week, so have played one less game, but is this whole division so bad that Oakland is competitive? I just can’t understand. Oakland is a terrible team. How they have two wins is beyond me but, given that no team in the West has more than two wins, the race is far from over. San Diego took Denver behind the woodshed, that’s for sure. Not only was it the worst home loss for the Broncos since the merger, they lost perennial Pro Bowl cut-blocker Tom Nalen for the year. He is one of the best centers to ever play the game, and has anchored an extremely consistent line for over a decade. I really hope this isn’t the last game he plays, it would be a terrible way to remember him. The most damning statistic right now against Denver is their –61 point differential, which is better than only two teams in the league: the winless Saints at –68 and the winless Rams at –67. Hey, at least Denver has wins…losers. If the Chargers running game had to break out somewhere, I guess it’s most fitting to have it be against the Broncos, whose run defense is abysmal. Hell, it wasn’t even Tomlinson who really came through; Michael Turner averaged over fourteen yards per carry. Ridiculous. Finally, speaking of ridiculous, the Chiefs still suck. I skipped them last week, as there are only so many synonyms for sucking and I ran out, but I do want to mention that Larry Johnson had nine carries for twelve yards. Good job, Herm, that’s the way to answer those critics saying you were running him too much. You show ‘em, buddy.