NFL 2007 Week 7: AFC Edition

AFC EAST: It’s official: the Patriots are changing their name to the New England Sooners. Running up the score against Miami in the first half is one thing but, after the game was already in the bag and they put Matt Cassel in, who promptly threw an interception, they put Tom Brady back in to run the score up even more. In this utter rout, backups threw three total passes and there’s no reason for this. Somebody can say that “they’re just running their offense,” but I’ve heard that before and it sounds like Barry Switzer talk. Boomer Patriots. In the end, it just makes me feel bad for Miami. Not only were they the victims of a curb stomping at the hands of New England, they also lost Ronnie Brown for the season. He was all they had, and now they’re left with Cleo Lemon. I suppose that it would be fitting for a Dolphins team to go 0-16 to balance out the undefeated season, but I’d still like to see them punch New England in the face on their second meeting. Buffalo’s matchup against the Ravens was one ugly contest. The two teams were a combined 8 out of 28 on third down, wretched. Marshawn Lynch is still looking good and Lee Evans finally started playing which allowed the Bills to score on the Ravens, whose inept offense couldn’t catch up to a three-legged dog chasing its tail. Chad Pennington had a totally reasonable game in the Jets’ loss to the Bengals, but will likely be benched anyway. I’ve never been much for Pennington, but I also know that a team’s failures are rarely attributable to one person and blaming the QB for the Jets is wrong. Kellen Clemens won’t be lighting up the scoreboard any time soon and the fickle Jets fans will be booing him soon enough.

AFC NORTH: The Steelers have only given up 76 points this season, but nearly half of those points came in their loss against the Broncos last week. They didn’t play that bad, and came back at the end to tie it up for a little while, but Denver shut down Willie Parker and forced Roethisberger to throw, which is deadly against the Broncos. Two interceptions and a few mistakes cost them the game and, possibly, their status as the third best team in the AFC, given how much they were uniformly expected to win. The Ravens remain in 2nd place because they couldn’t beat the lowly Bills. As usual, the defense did its best to win, but their inept offense can’t pull the team out of any kind of bind. Hopefully, the organization realizes how poor the offense is and quits thinking that quarterbacks like Kyle Boller are starting material. They also need new receivers and an offensive line, but Willis McGahee is pretty good, so they have one thing to build on. The Browns’ bye last week gave them one extra week where people still think they’re decent. Once they lose to the winless Rams, people will start having a little more perspective on this team. The return of Stephen Jackson will mark the beginning of the end for Cleveland. Cincinnati finally broke their four game skid against a fairly pathetic Jets team. I wouldn’t expect them to continue this success against the Steelers next week, but they looked like a cohesive team again. Unfortunately, for as talented a team as they are, one man is taking the blame for their lack of cohesiveness. Chad Johnson is a great receiver, but has no bearing on one of the most porous defenses I’ve seen in a long time. Way to go Eighty-Five, way to stop the defense from performing with your selfishness.

AFC SOUTH: The NFL’s toughest division hasn’t gotten any easier for anybody. The Colts are clearly the best in the division, and proved it with their drubbing of Jacksonville, but the rest is completely up for grabs. They are undefeated, but won’t stay that way for long. The division rivals are too solid for them not to rise up. There’s no doubt who will win the division, but any of these teams could be an easy wild card. Jacksonville faltered just about as much as they possibly could last night. The loss of David Garrard seems a devastating loss (I can’t believe I’m writing that) for an offense that can’t get a running game going. Quinn Gray, who is apparently in his fourth year though I’d never heard of him, really doesn’t have what it takes to lead a team. Reportedly, the Jags are on the lookout for a veteran quarterback, but I’m having a hard time coming up with a possible candidate. Jake Plummer, maybe? Houston and Tennessee played an excellent game of football, even though both teams showed a lot of weakness. I love when kicking records are broken; it’s the only time kickers get lauded for their play. Eight field goals in one game is ridiculous and is really telling of Houston’s defense. Had Vince Young been in the game, it would have been a different story, but the Titans’ defense really showed some huge holes when they allowed the Texans to nearly break a record of their own: the biggest fourth quarter comeback in history. They were close, but Rob Bironas was just too solid on Sunday to miss.

AFC WEST: The Broncos won! It’s cause for celebration. They even beat a good team, though they had to do it by Jason Elam’s leg again. Every win this season has been decided this way, but a win is a win. Really, they played their best football of the season. They shored up their run defense, kept the penalties and mistakes to a minimum and didn’t allow a million yards on special teams so, sure enough, they won. They certainly didn’t look perfect, but if they can look this good every week, they still have a chance to turn it around. The Chiefs and the Raiders sure played a suckfest of a game. Larry Johnson has finally started playing, and Dwayne Bowe continues to surprise, but Damon Huard and their line is still terrible. It looks like the magic has worn off Duante Culpepper. The Raiders would love to bench him, but at least they’re being smart enough to not throw Jamarcus Russell in to early. Unfortunately, Josh McCown is not ready to return and Andrew Walters is a nobody, so their hands are tied for now. Is there anybody who has dropped from the penthouse to the outhouse so quickly as Culpepper? Three years after being the next big quarterback, he may not be able to get a job next year, through no fault except injury. The Chargers seem to be the team of old, but they are going up against a Texans team that has proven that they can score quickly, even if it’s with Sage Rosenfels. This will not be a cakewalk for them, and I predict they will, once again, have a losing record. GO BRONCOS!!