NFL 2007 Week 5: NFC Edition

NFC EAST: If there’s one thing that makes me sick this season, it’s that Dallas is 5-0. The only thing more disturbing to me than the stupid cocky looks on Owens’ and Romo’s faces is the one on Jerry Jones’ skeletal mug. Even so, and I should whip myself for admitting to it, I was hoping they would win last Monday. Now that they have, I am really hoping for them to beat the snot out of New England this week and start to put an end to this Pat/Colts garbage, which I have previously described. Washington is surprising everyone with their competent play; none more so than Detroit, who was stomped on defense by the Jason Campbell juggernaut and on offense by a squad that allowed an average of .8 yards per throw on the pass-happy Lions. From 0-2 to 3-2, the Giants have some fooled that they’re coming around. The surging defense and the returning Brandon Jacobs is good evidence, but they played a truly subpar Jets team last week and nearly ruined it. Unfortunately, they play the Falcons this week, which should almost certainly bring them to 4-2, which is one of the more misleading records in football this year. The Eagles coming off their bye is the real question mark here. They really should beat the Jets this week, and if Brian Westbrook is in the lineup, they almost assuredly will. If not, though, we saw against the Giants what he means to that offense, so it also could be a total Jets rout (the Jets consider a “rout” a 17-14 victory at this point, though, so take it for what it’s worth).

NFC NORTH: The Packers finally lost and I’m glad. I’m am definitely in the great minority here, but I’m no fan of Favre and don’t really care if he’s successful in the winter of his career. I’m happy the Bears are doing badly, but someone had to take Green Bay off their pedestal, so it might as well have been a team led by a former Bronco. Chicago didn’t look too sharp, though, and couldn’t do anything no matter how many times they had the ball handed to them. Will they continue winning versus the Vikings, who are coming off a bye? That depends of the Vikings. I don’t know if Tavarius Jackson’s the answer, but he’s back this week. If they can get the offense together, they will certainly beat the Bears, whose offense absolutely will not be able to stand up the Vikings’ superior defense, especially Benson, whom I predict will have under twenty yards for the game. On a sad note of this division, however, it appears that John Kitna has fallen out of favor with his God. I can’t believe that Jesus would allow a team with that kind of receiver corps to only score three points, but the truth is undeniable. What have you done Kitna? My suggestion: more animal sacrifices.

NFC SOUTH: David Carr actually beat a team? I thought that was amazing until I remembered that they played the Saints. Now, Carr is saying that he’s hurting, so good ol’ Vinnie might be starting. That should really kickstart a team who has looked above average, though marginally so, and needs to step up if they’ll win the division. It’s all about Testaverde. We’ll see if he remembers which player to line up behind (hint: he’s in the center), a problem he was known for in his short time in Dallas. The lowly Saints just get lower. Eventually, they’re going to have to win, no matter how they play, but I have a hard time believing it will be this week against Seattle, who are faltering but are still the clear better team. Their best chance comes in two weeks against the Falcons, who will quickly be known as the butt of that division; only by sheer luck are they not already considered such. Harrington finally looked like himself last week after a couple of decent performances. After he worked so hard to lose the game, Petrino finally put Leftwich in, who looked absolutely super. Needless to say, Harrington is back in the game. Tampa Bay has had some tough games, including this week against Tennessee, but they’ve given good showings even in their losses. Garcia may not be the most efficient quarterback in town, but he’s not turning the ball over (at all), and that’s really important to a team that puts defense first. This defense will win the division for them and, though it is still a Gruden coached team, I can mildly support their success (for long-standing Madden Football reasons).

NFC WEST: Apparently, the entire western half of the United States sucks at football this year. It’s hard to say which is more dismal, the NFC or the AFC in the west. Rest assured, both divisions are working hard for the most dismal championship. The Seahawks got absolutely destroyed by the Steelers, turning the division’s clear best into total mush. I think the idea that Seattle is falling apart to be a knee jerk reaction, but they are facing a lot of age problems and their receivers are still terrible, no matter how many times they change it up. I’ve said for a couple of years now that the Cardinals have the talent to be one of the best teams in the NFC but, now that they’re doing (relatively) well, I have a hard time believing in it. It’s like the Raiders winning the AFC West; you know they have to fail sometime. They barely beat a winless team last week and allowed Gus Frerotte to score 31 points in the process, which I hardly consider worthy of praise. The Rams have the tough, but doable, task of beating Baltimore this week. If Gus can manage some of the magic he did last week, and they can put a few points on the board, the Ravens’ offense does not have the power to catch up. They were barely able to hold it together against San Francisco last week and they could only manage nine points; I wouldn’t exactly call them offensive dynamos. The NFL benefits from the ‘Niners’ bye this week; the league won’t be further stunk up by their horrible play.